Happy End

<body topmargin=0 leftmargin=0 marginheight=0 marginwidth=0> <table cellpadding=0 cellspacing=0 border=0 height="100%"><tr> <td valign="top" width=200 BGCOLOR="#99FFFF" TEXT="#F7F7FF"> <bR> </td> <td valign="top" width="100%" BGCOLOR="#33CCFF" TEXT="#080000"> <div> <B>Happy End</B></div> <bR> <bR> <div> <A HREF="index.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="The Glubs and the Noodles">The Glubs and the Noodles</A></div> <bR> <div> <A HREF="carnivorous.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Carnivorous">Carnivorous</A>   |   <A HREF="if_only_.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="If Only !">If Only !</A>   |   <A HREF="dont_worry.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Dont Worry">Don't Worry</A>   |   <A HREF="trust_me_.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Trust Me !">Trust Me !</A>   |   <A HREF="welcome.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Welcome">Welcome</A>   |   <A HREF="alfred_e_neuman.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Alfred E. Neuman">Alfred E. Neuman</A>   |   <A HREF="parlez_vous_français.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Parlezvous Français?">Parlez-vous Français?</A>   |   <A HREF="the_president.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="The President">The President</A>   |   <A HREF="love51.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Love">Love</A>   |   <B>Happy End</B>   |   <A HREF="darwins_noodles.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Darwins Noodles">Darwin's Noodles</A>   |   <A HREF="noodle_sex.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Noodle Sex">Noodle Sex</A>   |   <A HREF="archeology.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Archeology">Archeology</A></div> <bR> <div> <B>Sarah was trying to put up a brave face. The children were playing in next room. Sarah could not sleep, she just dozed a bit, her head nodded now and then, she would wake up with a guilty shake, she would hear the children, they were quarrelling and yelling at each other, apparently everything was under control and there was no danger lurking.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Sarah did not know what she was supposed to do, was there any point in telling the children that they had the privilege of being the last representatives of a civilization that would be eaten up within a few days by NOODLES!</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>She shuddered at the thought of Helene and Emma being slowly suffocated by the hideous NOODLES! and then eaten, hopefully by that time, dead.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Sarah would have given anything she had to save her children to save all the children in the world, to destroy the hideous NODDLES!</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>There was something so utterly un-American with NOODLES!, they would not stand up when the national anthem was played, they did not put their hand on their heart at the sound of the glorious tone that had supported America for decades and decades, through good times and bad times, the worst time being probably when that man went on carrying the national symbol day in and day out on his jacket. She giggled at the notion of NOODLES! putting their right hand on their hart, they had no hand, they had no heart.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>They were totally alien. NODDLES! Could not spell the word drive-in and would not know what it meant, thinking about it, so would most youngsters in today's America who had never known the backseat of a Dodge at a Drive-in.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Sarah could hear Helene and Emma playing, they must have found some new toys, but where would they have found these toys, possibly they had found some old socks and filled them with some objects as she could hear Helene and Sarah shouting like some mad Commanding Officer of the Marines:</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Stand-up!</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Attention!</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Sit down!</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>I said sit down!</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Too late you lazy bastard (my god, where did Helene or was it Emma pick up such words, thanks god that they have no idea what they mean), you will do twenty fucking knots you lazy bastard!</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Now Sarah was getting really worried, had the girls had access to some of the videos they were not supposed to look at? It did really sound as if the girls not only used the words but had some inkling of what they meant.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>She should not go on dozing like this, she should go to the girls and tell them that such language was not appropriate for her daughters, that they may have heard it on TV but that this was only TV, not the real world. But Sarah was so tired, she did not find the strength to get up, she just went on hearing in a distance the girls yelling at their toys, please God make sure they are yelling at toys and not at some other children, how would I them be able to explain it to the other mothers?</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Something was lurking at the back of Sarah's mind (incidentally why is it always at the back, how do you know what is front and back of the mind), Sarah felt that something was wrong, even dangerous, she could not say why, she had a feeling that something was happening that should not happen.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Suddenly she was totally awake and could hear Helene and Emma still given order, but it all sounded so terrible real, as if they were giving orders to someone.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>In the rushed, and she could not help but shout as she had never shouted in her life.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>She did not know what frightened here the more.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>That the room was surrounded by NOODLES! all standing and sitting and twisting around all objects, all staring in one and one direction only and twisting and groaning in pain.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Helene and Emma looking at the TV screen and looking at a pornographic film!</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Sarah was standing there, no longer even able to shout.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>She knew that if she had been one of these brave mothers one see in films, she would have rushed into the room, grabbed her daughters, rushed out of the room, found a gas jerry cane and put the house and TV and NOODLES! on fire.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>She did nothing.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Nothing at all. </B></div> <bR> <div> <B>She stood.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>She looked.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Emma took the television control box and stopped the film. Then Emma turned towards NOODLES! and the most absurd exchange took place.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Sarah could not be awake, this was not happening, this could not happen, there was no such a world where here daughters were looking at pornographic films, there was no such world were NOODLES! did not suffocate and eat up their human prey, yet in her dream she could see as if it was real, Helene and Sarah looking at a pornographic film which from what she had seen, would even make her more than blush, as to Alan, probably he would be sick for days, but who knows, why did she assume that Alan would be sick at seeing that, after all he was a man, and were not men exited by such things, what would happen if she sneaked in, checked where the video was coming from and sort of put it in the machine sort of by mistake one late evening when she was alone with Alan, but she must be mad, here she was dreaming of sordid marital sex, while her daughters were surrounded by the most hideous danger, pornography, no sorry, she meant NOODLES!</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Emma was now looking at NOODLES! and addressing them in her school mistress voice.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>You see, you bad children, this was your last chance, now I will give you one last chance and if you cannot do it, there will be more LOVE, and you know how much you hate it!.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>She looked at NOODLES! and said:</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>George and Elisabeth, I want to see the tables up to seven. And by tomorrow I want you to know them up to nine.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Sarah thought she must be getting mad.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>NOODLES! being called George and Elisabeth?</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Emma looking at them as if she really could make a difference between one NOODLE! and another one.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Sarah felt that the only thing she needed now was a strengthener and went to the kitchen to take the so-called "kitchen alcohol", a bottle of Calvados used for pancakes.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>She got herself one of these meagre glasses of Calvados, choked a bit on it, then got herself a real glass and got a adult size drink.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>As an author I am sorry and I apologize for the readers having trouble with alcohol, kindly consider that this is not alcohol but Calvados, which is pure apple juice, well possibly, strong apple juice, and that it is not alcohol but a cooking ingredient, and that Sarah is not a human but a feeble woman totally disoriented by the absence of her husband therefore unable to differentiate between right and wrong.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Feeling much better Sarah returned to the room where her daughters were sitting with NOODLES! and this time she did not feel any panic, possibly a kind of floating sensation, she could not understand why she had got herself into such a state just because her girls were looking at a pornographic film surrounded by NOODLES!</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>She looked in a benign way as Emma was conducting and supervising George and Elisabeth responding to their mathematic control.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Emma would say in a stern voice:</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Seven by Six and I want to see even the question:</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>And George would form himself into a Seven shape and Elisabeth would form herself into a six shape, but I may have had a bit too much of cooking ingredients, there is no way that NOODLES! can respond to a command and shape itself into numbers!</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>And Emma would shout:</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>And the answer is, quick, quick, you have five seconds:</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>And like obedient earthworms (are earth worms obedient?, is Calvados the best answer to all questions?), like obedient earthworms George and Elisabeth would shape themselves into the number 40, or could it be that George is Elisabeth and Elisabeth is not George, I will never again touch these treacherous French weapons, how right our magnificent President is to warn us against the deviousness of this callous nation.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>And she could hear Emma shouting</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>You fucking Idiots!</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Don't you ever listen to anything?</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Have you only get fucking on your brain (Little Emma shouting Fucking!!!)</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Don't you all want one day to become proud ravioli instead of stupid NOODLES!</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>You learn all your tables or there will be LOVE again.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>NOODLES! writhed in pain at that word.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Out all of you.!</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>I want to see you all to morrow and there will be a general control. </B></div> <bR> <div> <B>And NOODLES! trooped out like some tame snakes. (tame snakes? Does Calvados produce tame snakes?)</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Sarah waited.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>She did not want to wake up.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>She wanted to remain in this world where NOODLES! had been defeated, and defeated by her little girls. She wanted that world very much, even at the cost of Emma swearing more that the Sopranos and looking at pornographic films like a mad teenager.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>The room was empty of all NOODLES!</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Emma was tugging at her sleeve so much that Sarah woke up and looked at her daughter.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Mummy, who won?</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Sarah was perplexed, what was Emma speaking of? Who won.?</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Mummy, these athletics is so boring, it just goes on and on and you never know who is winning. Could we not get the golf channel?</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Sarah felt something like a big relief, Emma was watching athletics, and was bored. Still se made a note of putting the DVD aside, Alan would certainly come back soon and she felt that she must show him what the girls had been subjected to. Possibly Alan would want a glass of Calvados before, one could not harm could it?</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>That was one problem out of the way. But what about the language, what about “Fuck”.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Emma, please tell me, where did you learn to say “fuck”?</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Mummy everyone says it, we learned it at school.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>At school?</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Mummy, we had to learn how language evolved from the Phoenician to the Greek and to the Latin world and then to the Anglo Saxon world. Did you know that in Phoenician it was spelt </B></div> <bR> <DIV ALIGN="LEFT"></DIV> <div> <B><IMG SRC="0f7bb560.png" border=0 width="187" height="86" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></B></div> <bR> <div> <B>I am sorry Emma, I am not sure that we learned this.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Mummy, you really are impossible, everyone knows that in Phoenician you read the other way around.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>So Emma this is fuck in Phoenician?</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Mummy do you also want me to write LOVE in Greek and in Latin and in Runic? </B></div> <bR> <div> <B>That would be most interesting Emma, but I think we will reserve this for to-morrow.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>By the way, Emma, and I am not blaming you for choosing your friends the way you want, how comes NOODLES! are so friendly with you?</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Mummy, I did what you told me to do when strangers come in, I said:</B></div> <bR> <DIV ALIGN="LEFT"></DIV> <div> <B>Welcome to our House!</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Would you like a glass of lemon juice?</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>And then, but I am not sure mummy that you are not going to get angry, I thought he looked so cute that I kissed George on the cheek.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>And he liked it?</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Don't get angry with me, Mummy, George hated it and he said he would do anything I said as long as I did not do that again.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>So I thought that they would very much like to play being at school because there for sure there was no danger that anybody would be kind with them.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>And what about Elisabeth?</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>But Mummy why do you smell so strange, you smell of apple, could I also have an apple?</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Emma, what about Elisabeth?</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>But Mummy, Elisabeth is George.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>At that point Sarah felt that a nice rest would be welcome, she suddenly felt that she was even in the mood to understand something out of Desperate Housewives.</B></div> <bR> <bR> <bR> </td> </tr></table></body>