Inflate Yourself

<body topmargin=0 leftmargin=0 marginheight=0 marginwidth=0> <table cellpadding=0 cellspacing=0 border=0 height="100%"><tr> <td valign="top" width=200 BGCOLOR="#99FFFF" TEXT="#F7F7FF"> <bR> </td> <td valign="top" width="100%" BGCOLOR="#33CCFF" TEXT="#080000"> <div> <B>Inflate Yourself</B></div> <bR> <bR> <bR> <div> <A HREF="id17.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Contact Me">Contact Me</A>   |   <A HREF="glubs.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Glubs">Glubs</A>   |   <A HREF="ethology.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Ethology">Ethology</A>   |   <A HREF="shapes.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Shapes">Shapes</A>   |   <A HREF="foreword.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Foreword">Foreword</A>   |   <A HREF="bye_bye_my_lovely.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Bye Bye my Lovely">Bye Bye my Lovely</A>   |   <A HREF="hpm.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="H.P.M.">H.P.M.</A>   |   <A HREF="black_hole.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Black Hole">Black Hole</A>   |   <A HREF="boss.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Boss">Boss</A>   |   <A HREF="gray_or_grey.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Gray or Grey">Gray or Grey</A>   |   <A HREF="two_bulges.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Two Bulges">Two Bulges</A>   |   <A HREF="down_bulge.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Down Bulge">Down Bulge</A>   |   <A HREF="petri.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Petri">Petri</A>   |   <A HREF="middle_word.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Middle Word">Middle Word</A>   |   <A HREF="death.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Death">Death</A>   |   <A HREF="2d_3d.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="2D, 3D,">2D, 3D,</A>   |   <A HREF="virtual_world.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Virtual World">Virtual World</A>   |   <A HREF="freud.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Freud">Freud</A>   |   <A HREF="segregation.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Segregation">Segregation</A>   |   <A HREF="sickness.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Sickness">Sickness</A>   |   <A HREF="uterus.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Uterus">Uterus</A>   |   <A HREF="getting_high.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Getting High">Getting High</A>   |   <A HREF="end.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="End">End</A>   |   <A HREF="light.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Light">Light</A>   |   <A HREF="back_word.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Back Word">Back Word</A>   |   <A HREF="music.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Music">Music</A>   |   <A HREF="food.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Food">Food</A>   |   <A HREF="id44.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Commercial">Commercial</A>   |   <A HREF="talk.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Talk">Talk</A>   |   <A HREF="void.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Void">Void</A>   |   <A HREF="words.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Words">Words</A>   |   <A HREF="moulin_rouge.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Moulin rouge">Moulin rouge</A>   |   <A HREF="now.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Now!!!">Now!!!</A>   |   <A HREF="happiness.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Happiness">Happiness</A>   |   <A HREF="love.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Love">Love</A>   |   <A HREF="hat.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="H.A.T.">H.A.T.</A>   |   <A HREF="day_one.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Day One">Day One</A>   |   <A HREF="time.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Time">Time</A>   |   <A HREF="look_.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Look !!!">Look !!!</A>   |   <B>Inflate Yourself</B>   |   <A HREF="hollow_mass_matrix.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Hollow Mass Matrix">Hollow Mass Matrix</A>   |   <A HREF="civl_war.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Civl War">Civl War</A>   |   <A HREF="some_like_it_hot.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Some like it hot">Some like it hot</A>   |   <A HREF="pro_or_anti_zac.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Pro or anti Zac?">Pro or anti Zac?</A>   |   <A HREF="psychology.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Psychology">Psychology</A>   |   <A HREF="dictionary.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Dictionary">Dictionary</A>   |   <A HREF="after.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="After">After</A>   |   <A HREF="i_am_i_am.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="I am, I am">I am, I am</A>   |   <A HREF="noise_music_baseball.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Noise Music Baseball">Noise Music Baseball</A>   |   <A HREF="we_are_a_dream.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="We are a dream">We are a dream</A>   |   <A HREF="navigation.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Navigation">Navigation</A></div> <bR> <div> <B>August 6th, 2005, to morrow is Hiroshima</B></div> <bR> <DIV ALIGN="LEFT"></DIV> <div> <TABLE BORDER="0" CELLPADDING="1" CELLSPACING="1" WIDTH="429" BORDERCOLORLIGHT="#C0C0C0" BORDERCOLORDARK="#808080" FRAME="BOX" RULES="ALL" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0" > <tR> <tD VALIGN=TOP BGCOLOR=#FFFF99 HEIGHT= 377 WIDTH="425"><div> <B>You may recognize the basic seed of this story. I was not aware when I started it that it was related to “Is there a pilot in the plane”, when the dummy plastic co-pilot has a leak and the Flight captain tells the hostess to blow him up.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>When I started thinking about what makes us stand upright I was fighting with my International Standard Super Size Swimming Pool (US$17,  four years ago), repaired 5 times where the cats have tried their claws).</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Then I saw the man figure as an inflatable doll that leaks.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Vanity, pride, inflates us.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Life deflates us</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>When we cannot compensate the leakages, we crash.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Or we kill</B></div> <bR> </tD> </tR> </TABLE></div> <bR> <bR> <div> <B>August 3</B><B>rd</B><B>, 2005.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Why Humans could not stand upright</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Order in the room, Order in the room</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>You two kindly debubble from one another, if you think that you can cheat an old Glub Professor like me and that I will not see that you are practising a triple human group!</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Today children, sorry I have no idea of what this mean, we assume that it could be a mathematical expression used by humans like saying that 2 is the square root of 4, even if I find it rather repulsive to think of you Glub bubble students as some kind of square roots of you Respected Glub Professor.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>As I was saying, today you square root of the Great Glub Professor,</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>No really, I will revert to old traditional teaching</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Order in the room you stupid idiots, I have never seen creeping ooze as stupid and ungifted as you are.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Well don't we all feel better now when we use the old teaching methods rather that this new nonsense crap about understanding one another; As if I could ever go so low as to be able to understand a group  of slimy green oozing no response short circuit computer circuits that they call my students.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Well, I must say that I feel much better.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Today I am supposed to try and teach you how to develop a simple flat matrix, let us say a 4 by 4 matrix into a four non parallel dimensional matrix with inbuilt turbulences centred around a Variable Great Attractor.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Yes, students, I can see your disappointment, this is stuff that you handled when you were barely able to transmute and you feel disappointed that a professor of such huge reputation should deal with such childish and basic mathematics.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>As if I do not remember the derision of my dear and estimated so called Professor colleagues when I presented my thesis. It went as far as having one of the attending colleagues asking whether I was really the famous Glub Professor, not his homothetic translation?</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Well, I did let them laugh, so I started, as I will today by presenting the initial status of the equation.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Assistants bring in the human matrix and this time don't make any hole in it. </B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Yes, you stupid assistant, I quite remember your stupid statement that the human basic material was delivered to you with a hole, you inept quadratic integral, who do you think is going to believe such nonsense?</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Students, what do you see?</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Yes, you repulsive Glub bubble who I will kindly request to take out his feeder pump out of nice little blond Glub Bubble who I am sure is too shy to tell you that she must not exhaust herself as she must help me this evening with some of my notes.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Yes Repulsive Glub Bubble, you think that this is not a human substrate but a dirty washing mop brought in by error.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>You see, nice blond Glub Bubble, why waste your time with such immature material?</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Yes Nice Blond Glub Bubble, you have an idea. Yes, indeed, how right you are, this is the proto material from which a human will develop.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Now students to you see that tiny little twig looking flat worm looking tubular thing? No, you don't see. </B></div> <bR> <div> <B>It is in fact rather amusing, plus bubble Glubs kindle advance and go near this proto material what do you see, what is happening?</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Indeed, you see, already half an hour with me and you processing capacity has immensely improved. Indeed nothing happens.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Now all you nice and voluptuous and sinuous Glub bubbles, kindly advance and kneel round this human proto material?</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>What do you see?</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Wonderful, is it not, that twig that looked flat and worm like and totally dead is starting to inflate and take an upright position. Some of my presumed colleagues even pretend that they can distinguish an eye at the top of that twig, eye that would relay basic information to the proto human. Total nonsense of course, I have demonstrated repeatedly that the proto substance does not react to visual stimuli but to the vibrations it feels when you are nearing it, indeed, if you vibrate the dead twig you will notice that it appears to take a life of its own and change size.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Students kindly go back to your matrix holders and let us see how we could develop this inert 4*4 one dimensional matrix into a 4 dimensional distorted matrix.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>I will give you a hint students, indeed as you have guessed, the deformation due to the need of the cells to be near the great attractor is indeed related to that dead twig which appears to act both as a rotation centre and a reflector.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Now, Raven Haired Majestic Bubble Glub, if you can kindly disentangle yourself from the composite figure you have formed with these repulsive plus Glub bubbles and come forward, then I will request you to be the acting centre piece around which we are going to develop the Human Matrix</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Dangerous?</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Not at all, not at all, look I cans see that you have a background of emotional problems and tensions, it so happens that further to being the Major Glub Professor I do happen to have a side interest in curing tensions and unfulfilled expectations, so if you will kindly come to my Office as Blond Delicious Bubble Glub crawls out, if she still is able to do it, I will try and do my best for you.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>So, Raven Haired Majestic Bubble Glub, are you ready?</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>You are?</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>No do not be afraid, it is very simple</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Ready?</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Give that proto human a blow job!</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>What do you mean, you do not know what to do?</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>You want me to show you how to give that proto human matrix a blow job. Raven Haired Glub Bubble, you do disappoint me. How disgusting can a Glub become when it is forced to bubble itself into human shape?</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Of course I have no idea of how one does a blow job;</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Assistant, when you received the Express Delivery of the Human substrate, was there a notice saying how to make it work?</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>There was?</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>You thought it was a sandwich to be eaten by you while you were waiting for the demonstration to end?</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Where is the sandwich?</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>You have eaten it?</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Assistants, immediately disembowel that stupid assistant, do not forget to put aside all chrome and golden and platinum parts as we have to comply with the Federal Regulations about pollution.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Yes, you got the procedure note that this stupid assistant thought was a sandwich?</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>What does it say about this requested blow job?</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>That what we thought was a dead twig is in fact a kind of USB in/out connexion and that it must be connected to another fully loaded device and that it will then inflate itself without any further activity?</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Well, Raven Haired Glub Students, if you could not guess such a simple and evident procedure, kindly do connect your IN/OUT socket to this dead twig looking IN/OU human socket.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Dangerous?</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>How should I know!</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Do it now or I will have to request the assistants to delete your active computational swap memory!</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Well, look, that was easy, did it hurt? No of course it did not hurt.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Look now students how this flat basic human matrix proto material is gaining both size and complexity and developing this typical slant towards the Great Attractor which is so typical of Humans.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Raven Haired Glub Bubble, I am afraid that you are not concentrating on the job and not observing that your protuberances are in the way and preventing the proper development of the human matrix.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>What you should do with your protuberances so that they do not come in the way? </B></div> <bR> <div> <B>How would I know, could any of your kind and less stupid students kindly hold Raven Haired Glub Bubble's protuberances so that they do not come and disturb this experiment?</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Well, as you proceed with this rather boring part of the procedure, I will go to my Office with delicious bubbly Glub Bubble and we shall work on some of the more difficult parts of this experiment. It might even be necessary for us to have a space walk but do not be afraid, we have been trained for this.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Keep working on this blow job.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>How will you know that the human has attained its proper size?</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>What does the notice say, assistant?</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>That is will produce a warning noise.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Well you see, why ask stupid questions when the answer is so obvious?</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Students, kindly come back to order.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Look at this courageous even is a bit backward student doing a fine blow job on this human material.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>See how this human matrix is growing from its flat 4*4 matrix to a three dimensional Matrix en getting more and more columns and rows;</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>See how the borders are beginning to glow a kind of nice tint of orange, which we are led to believe indicated some degree of contentment.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Yes Raven Haired Stupid Oozy Bubble Glub, you wonder whether the fact that the human material has uttered </B></div> <bR> <div> <B><<urgggh, aaaahhhh, ahhhh, mama, more,,,don't stop”</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>indicates that you should stop?</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Yes, I think that we can assume that this human material has been filled with satisfaction.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Look how he stands upright even if the stick part looks a bit strange.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Well, students you can now admire a reconstruction carried out by my assistants upon my drawings and instructions of a human.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Yes, bubble Glub Monica, you wonder whether this means that the course is finished and you and I can now proceed to my Oval Office?</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Not quite, don't be that impatient, remember that you must always control yourself, this is the surest sign of greatness.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Students, look at that human. See how it appears to suck in your glares, as if your eyes were the food it is nourishing itself upon. See how the more you look at him, the more he appears to inflate.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Assistants do drop down the visual one way screen.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Now, students, this human cannot see us, he just sees a blank wall.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>See how he has stopped growing, how his skin is getting a kind of unhealthy looking greenish gray.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Assistants, switch on the booing machine!</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Assistants you are paid to carry out my orders, however cruel it may sound to you, remember we are doing this for science and that Humans have no conscience. They may suffer, it is true, but they do not know that they suffer.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Is the booing and whistling machine on full power</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>No!!!!</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>I said full power</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Good!</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Look now, students, look at this human figure, see how it seems to lose form and content, as if it is leaking!</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>We have analysed the gas it is leaking and it appears to be constituted of nearly 50% of vanity and 50% of pride.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Now look a very peculiar feature of the leaking procedure, see how its eyes appear not to be able to look outside anymore, how the figure appears to shrink upon itself, to become like an egg.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>What do you mean oozing green bubble students, what is an egg?</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>How to you want a Glub Professor of my quality to demean itself to explaining what an egg is. Kindly revise you chemistry and quantum physics and you will understand what an egg is.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Now see how the human figure is shrinking more and more and getting all wrinkled. </B></div> <bR> <div> <B>But students, the most astonishing is still to come.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Look at its pseudo pod outreach mechanism, look at it, see how it seeks the inflation IN/OUT communication port, see how it pulls at it more and more vigorously.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Yes there is happened, the IN/OUT communication port broke and all the vanity and pride is flushed out and now we are back at the flat 2 dimensional 4*4 matrix.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Yes Blond Nice Marylyn Curved Bubble Glub?</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>You would like to try it see if you could revive it by dong another blow job on it?</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>How nice of you Blond Nice Marylyn Curved Bubble Glub, but I have already instructed the Assistants to burn it to avoid any possible contagion of its vanity and pride, but if you want to experiment the blow procedure, please come with me to my Office now, I think I can spare you a bit of time.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Students thank you for your attendance and kindly do not remember to practice blow jobs on one another so that you fully master the procedure before next lecture.</B></div> <bR> <bR> <bR> </td> </tr></table></body>