Noise Music Baseball

<body topmargin=0 leftmargin=0 marginheight=0 marginwidth=0> <table cellpadding=0 cellspacing=0 border=0 height="100%"><tr> <td valign="top" width=200 BGCOLOR="#99FFFF" TEXT="#F7F7FF"> <bR> </td> <td valign="top" width="100%" BGCOLOR="#33CCFF" TEXT="#080000"> <div> <B>Noise Music Baseball</B></div> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> <div> Sunday, August 17, 2008</div> <bR> <div>   <script type="text/javascript" src="http://m3.moostik.net/js/?pseudo=taberg40&option=romain"> </script><noscript><img src="http://m3.moostik.net/img/?pseudo=taberg40&option=romain" border="0" alt="[]" /></noscript>   </div> <bR> <DIV ALIGN="LEFT"></DIV> <div> <TABLE BORDER="2" CELLPADDING="1" CELLSPACING="1" WIDTH="622" BORDERCOLORLIGHT="#C0C0C0" BORDERCOLORDARK="#808080" FRAME="BOX" RULES="ALL" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0" > <tR> <tD VALIGN=TOP BGCOLOR=#FFFF99 HEIGHT= 246 WIDTH="612"><div> I want immediately to dispel the rumor that this article was stolen from the Ph. D. thesis of  Bachael Balab.</div> <bR> <div> It is quite true that B.B. and the Glub Professor are very strongly linked and that we have much in common.</div> <bR> <div> However, how much gifted B. B. may be, possibly that under my supervison and soft guiding hand, one day she could aspire to the eights of the Supreme power of Analysis, for the time being, she remains a Bubble Human.</div> <bR> <div> Which is not that bad, compared to the totally ugly Bubble humans born without any of these delicious bulges.</div> <bR> </tD> </tR> </TABLE></div> <bR> <bR> <div> Good morning students, good morning, order please, order in the room !</div> <bR> <DIV ALIGN="LEFT"></DIV> <div> <IMG SRC="13f55d30.jpg" border=0 width="341" height="467" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></div> <div> Figure 1  Glub Lecture</div> <bR> <div> <TABLE BORDER="2" CELLPADDING="1" CELLSPACING="1" WIDTH="622" BORDERCOLORLIGHT="#C0C0C0" BORDERCOLORDARK="#808080" FRAME="BOX" RULES="NONE" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0" > <tR> <tD VALIGN=TOP BGCOLOR=#FFFF00 HEIGHT= 603 WIDTH="612"><div> Some Glub Analyst have pointed out that the blue area does not seem to have anything to do with the Glub Lecture picture.</div> <bR> <div> Apart from despising these critics, who are they to discuss the Glub Professor?, the author must admit that they are not totally off the mark.</div> <bR> <div> The blue area as you all have noticed comes from Cézanne “Les baigneuses”.</div> <bR> <div> The author tries to include the “baigneuse” in any illustration, whether appropriate or not as a kind of expiation.</div> <bR> <div> I must have been around sixteen when I entered the Impressionist Exposition at the Musée du Jeu de Paume and from that day my eye was changed. But not to the point of being able to recognize the genius hidden in the “baigneuses”. I can be excused, I was only sixteen and until that day painting had been something boring about fat ladies preening themselves, about angels floating here and there, about nymphs and herdsmen frolicking (a bit interesting) and all these horrible religious representations.</div> <bR> <div> Suddenly I enter the “Jeu de Paume” and I am face to face with Van Gogh “Ciel Etoilé”.  </div> <bR> <div> Strangely it was not the picture that impressed me most, that day I feel in love with Pissaro and Sisley.</div> <bR> <div> Cezanne was a bit of a mystery as the man obviously could not draw, certainly could not draw a portrait. I was later to read that description of Cézanne</div> <bR> <DIV ALIGN="LEFT"></DIV> <div> <B>A Genius who could not draw</B></div> <bR> <div> At that Exposition, at the end the huge “les baigneuses” was displayed. I was baffled. Why were they leaning? Why were they blue?</div> <bR> <div> I was only sixteen.</div> <bR> </tD> </tR> </TABLE></div> <bR> <bR> <div> And you are making too much noise.</div> <bR> <div> Yes dear Red Haired student with the freckles you would like to know what noise is? How spontaneous of you dear student, and how appropriate as the subject of this lecture was going to be about </div> <bR> <DIV ALIGN="LEFT"></DIV> <div> <B>“Noise”</B></div> <bR> <div> Incidentally you remember when you came and knocked on my door while I was having extra tutoring with Dear Long Haired Student? You were worried about the disturbances you noticed and wondered if something was wrong? This was “noise” and I feel that you should learn more about it.</div> <bR> <div> Quite a lot of very interesting writing is available about the Human civilization's use of Noise. Most of it has been written by my dear and respected colleagues, and I feel the greatest respect for them for having dared write such learned analysis about a subject where they did not have a clue about what they were discussing as I had not yet released my history making article.</div> <bR> <div> Students, let us see if some of you are worthy to listen to the education I provide to you at great cost to your parents.</div> <bR> <div> Students, what do you need to make noise?</div> <bR> <div> Yes short legged hairy student with the ugly ears.</div> <bR> <DIV ALIGN="LEFT"></DIV> <div> <IMG SRC="12753920.jpg" border=0 width="339" height="402" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></div> <div> Figure 2 Ugly Ears Student</div> <bR> <div> You say that what you need is a noise producer?</div> <bR> <div> Are you sure, short legged hairy student that your parents are not wasting their money by putting you in my class? Seldom have I heard something as absurd as this, I am sure that you have been reading some of the learned articles published by my less endowed professor colleagues?</div> <bR> <div> Yes Red Haired Student, you are really active today, I hope that your interest and devotion will not be wasted during the lecture time and that much will remain for the future studies we shall undertake?</div> <bR> <div> You say that to produce noise, once needs something that can produce noise? </div> <bR> <div> How wonderfully intelligent of you Red Haired students.</div> <bR> <div> Class, let us see if we can proceed any further on this brilliant proposition by Red Haired Student.</div> <bR> <div> I shall give you a clue.</div> <bR> <div> Students, could a Glub Matrix produce “Noise”?</div> <bR> <div> Yes, you again short haired student, you want to propose that a Glub Matrix cannot produce “noise”. Really student, if I was you I would refund my parents, such a pity to see such a waste of good money.</div> <bR> <div> Yes Red Haired student, you think that possibly a Glub Matrix could not produce “noise”. How fantastically brilliant of you that answer is.</div> <bR> <div> Please accept my apologies Red haired student as I prevented you form completing your sentence as you were going to say that a Glub Matrix could not produce “noise” as it had no noise producing material. </div> <bR> <div> Brilliant Red Haired Student.</div> <bR> <div> Let me give you a clue, students and please feel no shame if you do not see immediately the implications, you will not be worse then my esteemed Professor Colleagues from the Whall Martha University who had been studying that clue for decades and never understood it.</div> <bR> <div> Here is the clue:</div> <bR> <bR> <div> You see?<IMG SRC="12804160.png" border=0 width="4" height="22" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></div> <bR> <div> You see?</div> <bR> <div> No, not quite yet?</div> <bR> <div> Let me help you a bit further</div> <bR> <div> <IMG SRC="129040c0.png" border=0 width="4" height="12" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></div> <bR> <bR> <bR> <div> Impressive is it not?</div> <bR> <div> Suddenly the whole solution leaps at you and you wonder how you could not see it before!</div> <bR> <bR> <DIV ALIGN="LEFT"></DIV> <div> <IMG SRC="12b40aa0.png" border=0 width="320" height="170" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></div> <bR> <div> Impressive is it not?</div> <bR> <div> All these years when we have been convinced that this was a feeding tube used by this motorchondria.</div> <bR> <div> There are times when I feel humble and ashamed that my friends and colleagues from lesser Universities should be trusted to accomplish their duties in an appropriate scientific way, however menial the task may be, considering that they are the brick builder who take their glory in participating to the elaboration of the Great Theories which will suddenly enlighten the darkness of the knowledge about the Human Civilization, and believe me students, being  alone at the top of this huge task can be a very lonely responsibility.</div> <bR> <div> How do not forget, Red haired student that we have a working meeting this evening?</div> <bR> <div> Had these minor Professors only bothered to read the writings of the Human race, they would have come across all the complaints about the pollution</div> <bR> <div> The pollution and</div> <bR> <div> Student, what is the missing word?</div> <bR> <div> Yes indeed Red haired Student, you were going to say</div> <bR> <div> Pollution and Noise!!!</div> <bR> <div> Everything became clear as next picture will explain:</div> <bR> <DIV ALIGN="LEFT"></DIV> <div> <IMG SRC="12ddce20.png" border=0 width="476" height="226" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></div> <bR> <bR> <div> Disappointed are you not students?</div> <bR> <div> We knew that motorchondria after cleaning the circulation were excreting the collected poisons in the air where they would be harmless.</div> <bR> <div> So why am I so excited?</div> <bR> <div> Look now carefully at next picture!</div> <bR> <DIV ALIGN="LEFT"></DIV> <div> <IMG SRC="12fde0e0.png" border=0 width="478" height="270" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></div> <bR> <div> The miraculous power of the Glub Professor Brains! </div> <bR> <div> The filling tube was a two way space translation generator, and as incredible as it may look, the main purpose of this cylindrical space translator was neither a Boolean choice to provide a filling pathway for the motorchondria, or a space pathway for the excretion of the poisonous sub products but in reality, while these functions were important, the main purpose of this simple Boolean space alternative pathway was to produce “Noise”.</div> <bR> <div> As the Latin say</div> <bR> <DIV ALIGN="LEFT"></DIV> <div> Pictus ergo noisus</div> <bR> <div> To see is to hear</div> <bR> <div> Yes student, had you been in an ordinary class from one of the lesser Universities, say the Hexagon, this would already have been a miraculous lecture out of the ordinary, yet, here with the humble Glub professor, we are just at the beginning of  our exploration of the Lost Human Civilization.</div> <bR> <div> Let us proceed.</div> <bR> <div> I would like to avoid the tedious discussions about the relationship between the motorchondria and the humans. As I have so clearly demonstrated, this is a saprophytic relationship between two brainless entities, a course way of describing it would be to say that motorchondria and Humans are like bolt and nut. </div> <bR> <div> Let us forget for sometime about the Motorchondria.</div> <bR> <div> Students, I wish you were present at the Grandiose Lecture I gave in front of all the mightiest Professors of the World. I had not given any forewarning, only some hints by my friends that everybody should come as the Humble Glub Professor was going to make an ass of himself in front of the whole world. They all came to assist at my downfall.</div> <bR> <div> Poor Professors.</div> <bR> <div> I had great fun, I arranged to start my lecture by stumbling, apologizing for having lost my lecture in the time warper, giving the impression of an old man in his dotage; The grin of happiness spread amongst my dear and beloved friends and Professors.</div> <bR> <div> Then the terrible phrase sounded like an explosions:</div> <bR> <div> Assembled Professors, I have the Great Advantage of being able to present to you the results of the diggings carried out at the Site of the Pentagon Music Hall.</div> <bR> <div> I would not have been more horrible more my friends and honored Professors if I had announced that as from now they would have to take over my lectures with you students.</div> <bR> <div> Until know the existence of the Pentagon Hall of  Music and its Diamond where the ancient religions of Batman ball was practiced by a  sect called the Mets whose records were kept in the Library of  Kongrey  was considered as a myth. </div> <bR> <div> To find the Pentagon only would have been like finding the Holy Grail for any of these Respected Professors. </div> <bR> <div> To find the Metropolitan Opera House would have been considered as the Discovery of the millennium ( a millennium is a measurement used by the human Civilization, it corresponds to the time it takes for you to benefit from one of my special personalized lectures).</div> <bR> <div> To find the Site of the Religion called Batman Ball was considered as impossible as most specialists agreed that the site was wrapped up after each ceremony.</div> <bR> <div> And to Crown the Pain they experienced, the Humble Glub Professor had been able to prove without any doubt that the Pentagon, the Metropolitan Music Hall, the Mets Religious Sacrificial Site and the Library of Kongress where all the holy relicts were kept was one and one only site devoted to the main occupation of the Human race, namely</div> <bR> <DIV ALIGN="LEFT"></DIV> <div> <B>Noise !!!</B></div> <bR> <div> Yes Student, so many Learned Professors who have had the luck of shaking my hand have tried and tried again to understand the purpose of the Human Civilization and it became your Very Humble Glub Professor to finally find the missing cue.</div> <bR> <div> Would I have  found it had I not been on a Nature Stroll with very Shy Glub Students, on a hilly side called the “missing fourth plane”, probably some reference to the fact that the three dimensional view if so breath taking that you cannot wonder about a missing fourth plane.</div> <bR> <DIV ALIGN="LEFT"></DIV> <div> <IMG SRC="13126870.png" border=0 width="294" height="391" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></div> <div> Figure 3 Glub Professor and Student at Pentagon</div> <bR> <bR> <div> Dear Glub student found these amusing musical instrument. </div> <bR> <DIV ALIGN="LEFT"></DIV> <div> <IMG SRC="13ea8ab0.png" border=0 width="680" height="427" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></div> <bR> <div> In the name of Science we had to try these musical instruments and se for ourselves whether they would induce that romantic atmosphere the old poets always speak of. </div> <bR> <div> I will regret dear nice little so romantic Glub Student, she died for the sake of a cause greater than Herself.</div> <bR> <div> By the way, I will accept your congratulations, it made a lot of  </div> <bR> <DIV ALIGN="LEFT"></DIV> <div> <B>Noise</B></div> <bR> <div> This is the amusing background story of how we found the Famous International Music Centre called the Pentagon of the Mets.</div> <bR> <div> It really took a lot of fait at the beginning to believe that anything world come out of that heap of mud.</div> <bR> <DIV ALIGN="LEFT"></DIV> <div> <IMG SRC="13da5f20.png" border=0 width="677" height="498" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></div> <bR> <div> It was for lesser Professors a mystery that they dreamed they would one night solve. One Professor from the AddiNike university even proposed that this would be some kind of gigantic nut with a bolt that would go right through the Earth and have a similar Nut at the other end, the object being to prevent Earth from Exploding</div> <bR> <DIV ALIGN="LEFT"></DIV> <div> <IMG SRC="13cfb3f0.jpg" border=0 width="507" height="319" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></div> <bR> <div> However the Glub Professor was seeing what other lesser Professors could not see</div> <bR> <DIV ALIGN="LEFT"></DIV> <div> <IMG SRC="13b8ee20.png" border=0 width="654" height="482" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></div> <div> The question was very simple and asking the question was finding the reply</div> <bR> <div> I do admit that I was slightly helped by an old document found in a secret burial chamber in a Sage Marked </div> <bR> <DIV ALIGN="LEFT"></DIV> <div> <B>“Extreme Confidential”</B></div> <div> <B>“Totally Classified”</B></div> <div> <B>“Not Even the President can open it”</B></div> <bR> <div> And Inside we found a file</div> <bR> <div> “Outcast of this years Calendar:</div> <bR> <div> The first picture was striking</div> <bR> <DIV ALIGN="LEFT"></DIV> <div> <IMG SRC="137dd5f0.png" border=0 width="477" height="351" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></div> <bR> <div> It was quite obvious that some kind of message was inscribed at the bottom. I gave it to my students as a task to amuse themselves, and they came up with a sentence that had no meaning</div> <bR> <DIV ALIGN="LEFT"></DIV> <div> <B>The Pentagon.</B></div> <bR> <div> Any less than the Glub Professor would have given up</div> <bR> <div> But the Glub professor has eons of experience and this experience told him:</div> <bR> <div> What was the main objective if this civilization</div> <bR> <DIV ALIGN="LEFT"></DIV> <div> <B>NOISE!</B></div> <bR> <div> What was a Pentagon, but a very simple and primitive musical instrument.</div> <bR> <div> Where would the Religious Noise performance take place?</div> <bR> <div> In a Stadium which would be an allegory to the noise produced, namely a Pentagon called Madison Pentagon Square Garden with its famous Music Band called the 3dodgers!!”</div> <bR> <div> Then it was only tedious work to uncover the substrate:</div> <bR> <DIV ALIGN="LEFT"></DIV> <div> <IMG SRC="138f1fb0.png" border=0 width="753" height="507" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></div> <bR> <div> There we have the total reconstruction of that Magic Religious site.</div> <bR> <div> We have carried out a Computer simulation to reconstruct the Religious Ceremony which the Ancient Humans called a concert.</div> <bR> <div> Carefully observe the need of the religious symbol, the Pentagon, without which the whole ceremony would have been pointless. </div> <bR> <div> Some of my very learned colleagues for whom I have the greatest respect and for whom I feel no disregard as it is not their fault that they do not have the resources of the very Humble glub Professor, went as far in their divagations as to propose that the Pentagon would have been some kind of military building. When asked what would be the purpose of the pitcher mount in this military building they can only mumble some incoherent sentences pretending that the two objects, in spite of all evidences gathered would be unrelated.</div> <bR> <div> When confronted with the Computer reconstruction of the Religious ceremony of Baseball concert they could only yield to the evidence produced and accept defeat.</div> <bR> <bR> <bR> <DIV ALIGN="LEFT"></DIV> <div> <IMG SRC="13aab5e0.jpg" border=0 width="939" height="606" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></div> <bR> <bR> <div> Students, if there is a lesson to be learned from this incredible research, it is that the Researcher, even be it the Humble Glub Professor, must stick and adhere to facts and never try to fit the facts to his preferred theory.</div> <bR> <div> However incongruous facts may be, we have to yield to them.</div> <bR> <div> Students I do not know whether you feel like me a desire to meditate upon the victories bestowed on the Glub Professor and the Shame so rightfully accorded to these lesser Professors.</div> <bR> <div> Let us go and meditate, Glub Student, please lock the door behind you and let us see how much </div> <bR> <DIV ALIGN="LEFT"></DIV> <div> <B>NOISE</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>We can produce:</B></div> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> </td> </tr></table></body>