Noodle Sex

<body topmargin=0 leftmargin=0 marginheight=0 marginwidth=0> <table cellpadding=0 cellspacing=0 border=0 height="100%"><tr> <td valign="top" width=200 BGCOLOR="#99FFFF" TEXT="#F7F7FF"> <bR> </td> <td valign="top" width="100%" BGCOLOR="#33CCFF" TEXT="#080000"> <div> <B>Noodle Sex</B></div> <bR> <bR> <div> <A HREF="index.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="The Glubs and the Noodles">The Glubs and the Noodles</A></div> <bR> <div> <A HREF="carnivorous.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Carnivorous">Carnivorous</A>   |   <A HREF="if_only_.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="If Only !">If Only !</A>   |   <A HREF="dont_worry.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Dont Worry">Don't Worry</A>   |   <A HREF="trust_me_.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Trust Me !">Trust Me !</A>   |   <A HREF="welcome.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Welcome">Welcome</A>   |   <A HREF="alfred_e_neuman.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Alfred E. Neuman">Alfred E. Neuman</A>   |   <A HREF="parlez_vous_français.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Parlezvous Français?">Parlez-vous Français?</A>   |   <A HREF="the_president.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="The President">The President</A>   |   <A HREF="love51.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Love">Love</A>   |   <A HREF="happy_end.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Happy End">Happy End</A>   |   <A HREF="darwins_noodles.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Darwins Noodles">Darwin's Noodles</A>   |   <B>Noodle Sex</B>   |   <A HREF="archeology.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Archeology">Archeology</A></div> <bR> <div> <B>As story teller it is my duty. As human being I find the subject of NOODLE! sexuality utterly repulsive.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>However considering the absurdities that have been written on this subject, it is my duty to reveal everything about NOODLE! SEX and reproduction systems however disgusting it is to us human.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>In the early days, many were the specialists that doubted that NOODLES! had any sexual capacity.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Where in NOODLE! do you see any sexual capacity?</B></div> <bR> <DIV ALIGN="LEFT"></DIV> <div> <B><IMG SRC="118c9320.jpg" border=0 width="201" height="306" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Quite obviously this NOODLE! is totally inert.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>It was not until the NOODLE! was scrutinized by the most acute minds of the Bad Boy University that small changes were detected.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>For a long time NOODLE! remained inert, until one scientist by mistake did not observe that NOODLE! was just behind her as she was spraying herself with CHIMEL Number 6, prior to her private session with the Department Chief.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Then NOODLE! started developing strange forms.</B></div> <bR> <DIV ALIGN="LEFT"></DIV> <div> <B><IMG SRC="119c51c0.jpg" border=0 width="197" height="284" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"> </B></div> <bR> <div> <B>That did not appear to be significant until more strange developments took place:</B></div> <bR> <DIV ALIGN="LEFT"></DIV> <div> <B><IMG SRC="11b99490.jpg" border=0 width="153" height="329" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Either the NOODLE! was preparing to separate itself into tow NOODLES! like a bacteria, which was frightening enough, but worse was to come.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>It changed into something that no one could identify?</B></div> <bR> <DIV ALIGN="LEFT"></DIV> <div> <B><IMG SRC="11ced600.jpg" border=0 width="237" height="352" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></B></div> <bR> <div> <B>The changes continued, getting more and more repulsive</B></div> <bR> <DIV ALIGN="LEFT"></DIV> <div> <B><IMG SRC="11df9310.jpg" border=0 width="249" height="305" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></B></div> <bR> <div> <B>We thought we had gone to the ultimate in horror but more was to come!</B></div> <bR> <DIV ALIGN="LEFT"></DIV> <div> <B><IMG SRC="11e18940.jpg" border=0 width="280" height="404" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></B></div> <bR> <div> <B>What worse could come?</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Yes, that thing developed into a totally horrible object!</B></div> <bR> <DIV ALIGN="LEFT"></DIV> <div> <B><IMG SRC="11fbc420.jpg" border=0 width="188" height="322" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></B></div> <bR> <div> <B>I believe this was the first time we realized that we were facing something totally ALIEN to our culture, something that could prove fatal to all our value, something totally ruthless.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>But if this NOODLE! has developed into this frightening shape, how does it communicate with other NOODLES!?</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>We, as scientists were very confused until we noticed that one of the pods had a very strange inclusion.</B></div> <bR> <DIV ALIGN="LEFT"></DIV> <div> <B><IMG SRC="120b7390.jpg" border=0 width="183" height="313" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></B></div> <bR> <div> <B>What was that?</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>We assumed for a long time that it was some kind of number plate, which must be quite useful as one NOODLE! cannot be distinguished from another NOODLE!, until one of our most gifted students thought that looking at NOODLES! was possibly not enough, one should listen to it, and indeed, some kind of noise was coming from the pod!!!!!!</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>What was it?</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>The best enlargers were used and we finally got a picture</B></div> <bR> <DIV ALIGN="LEFT"></DIV> <div> <B><IMG SRC="122e4580.png" border=0 width="228" height="344" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></B></div> <bR> <div> <B>You must realize that this picture was taken using the strongest possible enlargement and then improved by computers.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Was it living?</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Was it inert?</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Was it dead?</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Was it linked in some way to sexuality?</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Indeed, how far fetched it may sound, NOODLES! are totally dependent on this pod to be able to reproduce. Take it away and you take away all their reproduction power.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>It was our gifted student, who is spending more and more time with our Chief Research Officer, who came upon the idea of fabricating a similar looking instrument, and after long and tedious tries she was able to get something which we believe must have been an answer.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>First we heard some horrible noise, which went on and on, then something a bit similar to a voice tried to induce us to press one is we wanted a male, two if we wanted a female and three if we did not know what we wanted.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>For unknown reasons when the laboratory got it's monthly phone bill we had a huge charge of $500 for "Intimate Services Rendered".</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Utterly Disgusting!</B></div> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> </td> </tr></table></body>