Some like it hot

<body topmargin=0 leftmargin=0 marginheight=0 marginwidth=0> <table cellpadding=0 cellspacing=0 border=0 height="100%"><tr> <td valign="top" width=200 BGCOLOR="#99FFFF" TEXT="#F7F7FF"> <bR> </td> <td valign="top" width="100%" BGCOLOR="#33CCFF" TEXT="#080000"> <div> <B>Some like it hot</B></div> <bR> <bR> <div> <A HREF="id17.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Contact Me">Contact Me</A>   |   <A HREF="glubs.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Glubs">Glubs</A>   |   <A HREF="ethology.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Ethology">Ethology</A>   |   <A HREF="shapes.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Shapes">Shapes</A>   |   <A HREF="foreword.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Foreword">Foreword</A>   |   <A HREF="bye_bye_my_lovely.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Bye Bye my Lovely">Bye Bye my Lovely</A>   |   <A HREF="hpm.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="H.P.M.">H.P.M.</A>   |   <A HREF="black_hole.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Black Hole">Black Hole</A>   |   <A HREF="boss.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Boss">Boss</A>   |   <A HREF="gray_or_grey.htm" 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dream</A>   |   <A HREF="navigation.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Navigation">Navigation</A></div> <bR> <div> <I><B>Some like it hot</B></I></div> <bR> <bR> <div> <I><B>May 18th, 2006</B></I></div> <bR> <div> <B>Friday, Earth time, May 12th, 2006</B></div> <bR> <DIV ALIGN="LEFT"></DIV> <div> <TABLE BORDER="0" CELLPADDING="1" CELLSPACING="1" WIDTH="502" BORDERCOLORLIGHT="#C0C0C0" BORDERCOLORDARK="#808080" FRAME="BOX" RULES="ALL" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0" > <tR> <tD VALIGN=TOP BGCOLOR=#FFFF99 HEIGHT= 622 WIDTH="498"><bR> <div> <B>This text is written as a tentative reply to a question from Nicole:</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>“Do you quarrel with your wife”?</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>I tried to write a simple answer, but nothing would fit the question.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>It is important to all of you as you are asking yourself whether you quarrel too much with your wife, husband, teenager, boss.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>The question is so sensitive that there was no way I could tread it as if it was a normal philosophy question such as one you could be asked to comment duringUniversity studies.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>The only way I could approach it was using the absurd. Even that was difficult.</B></div> <div> <B>While reading the story you will notice that it is longer than usual as I try as long as I can to avoid the issue.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>The French writer Rabelais used the same technique. When asked why he was writing such absurd lecherous scatological stories he would either reply that you had to look behind the surface or if he felt threatened he would say that he was just having fun.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Finally, I settled on a way to approach the question by linking it to another idea which apparently has no link:</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>“What is temperature?”</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>The reason for this was that I was wondering why some quarrels are hot, some are cold, some are hot and freezing, some take a long time to boil, some go into explosive boiling immediately.</B></div> <bR> </tD> </tR> </TABLE></div> <bR> <div> <TABLE BORDER="0" CELLPADDING="1" CELLSPACING="1" WIDTH="502" BORDERCOLORLIGHT="#C0C0C0" BORDERCOLORDARK="#808080" FRAME="BOX" RULES="ALL" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0" > <tR> <tD VALIGN=TOP BGCOLOR=#FFFF80 HEIGHT= 527 WIDTH="498"><bR> <div> <B>Again the lecherous Glub Professor is lecturing.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Glubs are the Civilisation that took over the Universe once Mankind had destroyed the Universe by poisoning all communications with a Virus.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Glubs are no longer in human form or E.T. form.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>They are a Data Matrix.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>If you need to visualize the Glubs, the nearest I can come is the image created in your head while listening to a Bach Partita.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>If you are leaning more towards mathematics, the Glubs would be like a four dimensional Matrix submitted to the tensions of torsion.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Glubs are a new form of Universe and they are exploring the past Universe of Mankind.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>To do that and try and experience what it could have been to live like a Human, they Bubble into some kind of Human form.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>While Bubbling into Human Form, they are aware that Humans had two shapes, one with two upper Bulges, one with a lower bulge (disgusting).</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Of course for a Glub Universe, even after Bubbling, our Human life is totally beyond anything they can process in their Matrix.</B></div> <bR> </tD> </tR> </TABLE></div> <bR> <bR> <div> <B>Students please !</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>I must confess that during that long break, I had managed to forget how utterly disgusting you look and how your total lack of brain shows through you hollow matrix. Well, I am the Glub Professor and it will not be said of my tenure that there has been a task repulsive enough to make me falter in my steps.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Students, now it is time to leave your matrix form and form into these ridiculous bulbous shapes that are called human bodies. As you know this is part of the demands of this course, that you should be able to guess what humans could have felt, assuming that they felt anything.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Yes my dear Blond Glub Student?</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>You are worried because you have chosen to bulge today into a Pamela Anderson form and you say that you are troubled because you have forgotten at home the red “Body” that goes  with the shape?</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>How nice of you dear Blond Glub Student to be so mindful of our emotions, but I think I speak for all of us if I state that you can bubble into a Pamela Anderson Shape even if you do not have your red “Body” to cover it, that I, your Great Glub Professor, and all these ridiculous shapes around you that pretend to be students, we will control our repulsion at being confronted with these naked bulges.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Yes Blond Student you can bulge now.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Blond student are you sure that you have got your matrix information right and that Pamela Anderson did have upper bulges of this size and would still be able to move without falling forward?</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>You are sure?</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>How interesting, and by a coincidence, it so happens that a colleague of mine, lecturing in dynamic statistics of none stabile malleable objects pointed out that the upper bulges of the humans would probably be the same volume as my hands. </B></div> <bR> <DIV ALIGN="LEFT"></DIV> <div> <B><IMG SRC="0ada33a0.jpg" border=0 width="419" height="314" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></B></div> <bR> <bR> <div> <TABLE BORDER="0" CELLPADDING="2" CELLSPACING="1" WIDTH="477" BORDERCOLORLIGHT="#C0C0C0" BORDERCOLORDARK="#808080" FRAME="BOX" RULES="ALL" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0" > <tR> <tD VALIGN=TOP BGCOLOR=#FFCC33 HEIGHT= 77 WIDTH="471"><div> <B>Those of you readers with a minimum of knowledge will immediately recognize that Blond Glub Student has bubbled into the Botticelli "Venus", and I must say, she has been rather successful</B></div> <bR> </tD> </tR> </TABLE></div> <bR> <div> <B>I do suggest, dear blond student that you and I meet after the lecture and check if this volumetric information is really true and if the assumption that non stabile malleable objects cannot be at the same time in fixed in one spot without losing all their properties and becoming hard and pointed is a true scientific theory.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Students, have you all bubbled into a humanoid form?</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Let us then begin today' subject.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>I will try, without much hope I must admit, to explain to your limited analytical Programming the human concept of temperature and quarrelling.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>The word "temperature" has no adequate translation or analogy in the Glub World, however it seemed that it was of immense interest to the humans. As for "Quarrelling" we have no idea of what this concept means.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Incidentally Blond Bubble Student, we shall be able to concentrate on our subject, I mean your subject, I mean you, as my Wife Matrix has strongly hinted that she would prefer not to see me at home this night or for that sake any night or day.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>But as to "Quarrelling" we have no equivalent in the Glub World.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>From the diggings I have carried out in the Sea Hen-Hen region, I have the immense satisfaction of seeing that all my calculations proved right. I remember the day I sat down and feeling very awkward I investigated the reason for this unpleasant feeling and came up with a round cylindrical box, exactly as I had foreseen.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>At my laboratory, my assistants were able to open the box using a very special gripping matrix rotated in one direction while another gripping matrix was held immobile. </B></div> <bR> <DIV ALIGN="LEFT"></DIV> <div> <B><IMG SRC="0afe22d0.jpg" border=0 width="226" height="301" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></B></div> <bR> <div> <B>The box revealed its treasures, some kind of hieroglyphic band of successive images with very tiny variations, obviously some kind of message from a dying civilization to the Superior Extra universal Life Form that would succeed, and I feel the Humans who enclosed these treasures, wherever they are now, must be happy and contented to feel that out of all the possibilities there treasures were found by the Glub Professor.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>The first mystery we had to solve was some kind of message written on the movable rotating object.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>It looked something like this:</B></div> <bR> <DIV ALIGN="LEFT"></DIV> <div> <B><IMG SRC="0b161170.jpg" border=0 width="353" height="279" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Quite a teaser I would say;</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Many of my colleagues from lesser Universities did propose the most idiotic hypothesis, and I let them meander in their lunacy. One so-called analyzer from the CIA University suggested that this resembled very much the discarded objects they used to collect from containers outside the Embassies to analyses the activities.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>As if anyone with a bit of sense would have put valuable material in such a sophisticated safekeeping device that it took my assistants more than six months to discover the unlocking mechanism!</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>So let us not waste more time on such poor mindless analysts and let us apply our knowledge of semantics to this message from a dead civilization.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>All of you have already deciphered that the hieroglyph “BIN” comes from the human scripture and is one of the forms of the word “to be” which in some minor civilizations was varied as ”to be bin, bin”, </B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Excellent.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Much more difficult is to understand the secret meaning of the hieroglyph</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>“DISPOSAL”</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Many colleagues from lesser Universities, I especially remember one form the London School of Economics who later became some kind of vagrant they call “Minister”, which I believe to be related to some religion superstition, many colleagues thought that this hieroglyph was composed of </B></div> <bR> <DIV ALIGN="LEFT"></DIV> <div> <B>DIS</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>POS</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>AL</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Well you are amazed by such stupidity, are you not students?</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Of course, having attended my lectures, you immediately saw that it was composed of</B></div> <bR> <DIV ALIGN="LEFT"></DIV> <div> <B>DISPO</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>AL</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Evident is it not?</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Now it all becomes clear</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>AL is as you have all worked out a shortening of the hieroglyph “ALL”, probably that in those days of great disturbance they never had the time to complete the hard work of engraving the whole word.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>What about DISPO?</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Well of course you cannot guess, students, because you have not yet attended my course on</B></div> <bR> <DIV ALIGN="LEFT"></DIV> <div> <B>“BASIC RITES IN HUMAN LOWER CIVILIZATION”</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>When you will attend the course, it will become obvious to you those in those days they had a rite: when the sun was setting, to rest their basic fears, they use to gather in a dark closed room and hold one another very close while doing epileptics hip movements very reminiscent of the fertility rites of earlier civilizations. They used to call that DISCO, as a reminder of the holy SUN object which was worshipped, a round plated object which in its simplicity was reminding them of the vanishing sun and carrying their hopes that the sun would come back.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Yes ugly black haired student, you pretend that it could not be DISCO because they wrote DISPO?</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Ugly shameful student, your name would not by chance be Nixon? No, you are not related to him, well I do wonder, you do remind me of the same tortuous mind my colleague had, well, had you listened to my lecture more attentively, you would have remembered that this message was sent at a time of panic by trembling hands and withering bodies, who could expect those hands facing the imprint of the feet of death to be able to control their trembling member and make such minute adjustments as “P” and “C”?</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>You are ashamed now, are you not Nixon student?</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>So quite obviously we have solved the riddle, this dying civilization was sending to us, the fulfilment of perfection, their most sacred objects and clearly stating that all they knew was enclosed in that shrine.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Obviously these humans did not have much faith in the perfection that would be embodied in the GLUB civilization so they felt that they had to add more information.</B></div> <bR> <DIV ALIGN="LEFT"></DIV> <div> <B>RE FUSED</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>They tell us that the hieroglyphs have been fused twice;</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Why twice?</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>At present my staffs is working on two hypotheses.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Either we must read these frames as containing a double meaning, such as we did with the famous Michel Angelo Code. We must look for a double meaning.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>The hieroglyphs are double and we must peel them layer from layer. You all remember the case of Pamela Anderson where we discovered the most amazing information once we had managed, with our careful soft hands, to peel off the red body.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Students, why I am discussing the truth found under the body of Pamela Anderson?</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>You don't know?</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Don't you follow my lectures?</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Why are you blond student sitting there all bubbled and all naked?</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>I told you to do so?</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>You are sure?</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Why did I do that?</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>I was going to tell you that later in my Office?</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Yes, indeed, how clever of you, blond student, and please do not forget our appointment.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>The subject of today's lecture was the Use of External Skins in the Mammalian Culture!</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>What do you have to day again ugly male student?</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>That this was not the subject of today's lecture? Are you possibly getting mad, ugly student? Blond student, tell him what was the subject of today's lecture!</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Temperature Concept in the Human Civilization! </B></div> <bR> <div> <B>There you see Ugly student, and please do not interrupt my lectures any more when you are totally wrong.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>So, students, as I was stating before being interrupted by Ugly student, today's lecture would never have been possible had I, the humble and modest Glub Professor been able to work out that this civilization, if such a world can be attributed to it, would certainly have left a message to us, message that I discovered in all simplicity and modesty with my left buttock.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>When scanning the frames of the hieroglyphs of the Secret Message, we were astonished by the importance attributed by this civilization to something they called “meteorology”.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>As you will learn from my assistant during the course of languages used in the Lower Civilizations, the world “meteorology” stem from the prefix</B></div> <bR> <DIV ALIGN="LEFT"></DIV> <div> <B>MET</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Which is synonymous with divinity, for instance Superiors Glubs such as myself.</B></div> <bR> <DIV ALIGN="LEFT"></DIV> <div> <B>TEORO</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Which means BULL, a kind of God worshipped in those days. BULL and BEAR were divinities quite often associated in a pantheon called the Stock Market.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>And </B></div> <bR> <DIV ALIGN="LEFT"></DIV> <div> <B>LOGOS</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>The meaning of which is very much disputed, it must mean either diarrhoea or wisdom.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>So the ancient lower culture of the human primates gave much attention to a cult associated with the study of variations.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>The communication device which they called the Sea-N-N, was entirely devoted to the meteorology divinity, the programs being regularly interrupted by view or humans accomplishing these disgusting fertility rites they seemed to have been so fond of.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Meteorology Worshipping Hours were send all the day, with seasonal High Masses called Hurricane Reports during which Human and Property were sacrificed to the Gods.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Even culture in the Lower Human Period had a feeling that these particular observations which made no sense to their limited calculation power may be measured, and things they called “temperature” were recorded.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Of course to us the Glub Matrix, it does not make any sense to ask “what is the temperature” of baby matrix </B></div> <bR> <DIV ALIGN="LEFT"></DIV> <div> <B>5     45     35</B></div> <div> <B>34     33     12</B></div> <div> <B>12     34     1</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>but to humans, it was most important. Indeed, I would stand in the face of all the scientific community and clearly state that “temperature” was the most important factor governing the life of Humans.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>I would like you to make a note of one of the most famous sentences written by the scientist Shakespeare in his major composition “Malibu Beach”.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>“your hand are so hot on my body”</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>which of course does not make any sense to us, especially as this statement was followed by a lot of painful sonorous religious wriggling which apparently would only tend to further increase the temperature.</B></div> <bR> <DIV ALIGN="LEFT"></DIV> <div> <TABLE BORDER="0" CELLPADDING="1" CELLSPACING="1" WIDTH="502" BORDERCOLORLIGHT="#C0C0C0" BORDERCOLORDARK="#808080" FRAME="BOX" RULES="ALL" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0" > <tR> <tD VALIGN=TOP BGCOLOR=#FFFF99 HEIGHT= 1224 WIDTH="498"><bR> <div> <B>In a study soon to be published in “Mature”, I have described the rites carried out by the Humans to get the blessing of the Fertility God.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>It appears that while details can vary, the steps are always similar.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>First of all I wish to end the stupidity having its origine in the Total Shell University, in those days you did not go and fill your tank with LOVE.</B></div> <bR> <DIV ALIGN="LEFT"></DIV> <div> <B><IMG SRC="0b25f150.jpg" border=0 width="351" height="277" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Regretfully you could not fill up with LOVE. Instead you had to go through a far more complicated process.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>First you must have one Human Form with two Upper Bulges and one with One with only a Lower Bulge.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>The Humans make contact in a noisy closed dark environment which we first assumed to be devoted to growing mushrooms but is apparently a cavern made to prepare the Humans for the pain they will experience. They drink very powerful pain soothers which are so strong that in spite of the anxiety of the forthcoming pain they manage to laugh.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Contact is established by the Suction Apparatus situated under the Human Input Port for smells.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Thereafter if both computers come to the conclusion that there is Data Parity, one or both Humans will shred the External Skins.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>It is not at the present stage of research clear as to how they find out which skin to discard and which one to leave.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Thereafter gymnastics movements are performed which appear to be a recreation of a Mythological War that is the basis for Human life.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>After the end of the gymnastics movements, the Humans are know to utter loud and piercing shrieks believed to be some kind of imploration of this God of War.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>To further get the approval of this God of War, the Humans will lit odoriferous white sticks which unlock poisonous stinking gases in spite of which the Humans appear to find them pleasant.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>The Humans quite often drink more of the pain killer, but this time instead of laughing they start looking at one another and exchange verbal abuse.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Some learned colleagues have believed that this would be something called a quarrel, but I have been able to establish without any doubt that this is part of the procedure absolutely needed by both Humans to be able to make thereafter contacts with other similar Humans.</B></div> <bR> </tD> </tR> </TABLE></div> <bR> <div> <B>Students, let us not dither here and there, let us plunge into the quarrel.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Yes, Ugly student?</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>No, nothing?</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>I have been advised by the University Board that we should involve the students in practical exercises and devote less time to speaking, as if a Glub Professor of my Experience and Wisdom would squander time in talking.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Be it as it may, let us do one of these stupid exercises recommended by the Board.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>You all wonder what could be this thing Humans call temperature?</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Let us try and experience it ourselves.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>We shall do the following experiment.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>All of you students who have selected to bubble into the Two Upper Bulge Human Form, please take off all your Outer skin and give it to those who have selected, I cannot understand why, to bubble into that Ugly shape.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Have you all done that?</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Well what do you feel?</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Why not you again Ugly Student, you are raising your hand again?</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Not, you pretend that what has risen is not your hand?</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Well students, while Ugly Student is totally misbehaving in the most disgusting way, you will find it difficult to believe it, but for humans, this was a total normal behaviour and they had gone so far that they were proud of raising heir hand or whatever you want to call that lower bulge. They pretended that the view of upper bulges would increase the temperature of the Lower Bulge Humans, thereby conducting to an inflation of the volume of this bulge.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Yes fawn eyed so tender Student?</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>You are confused because you cannot understand why the humans would have their temperature increased and what could be the use of having that already disgraceful lower bulge becoming even more bulgy?</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>You sincere fawn eyed tender student, how brave of you to admit you lack of knowledge and how right you are to ask such essential questions, and, I feel that your sincerity should be rewarded, why don't you come to my Office this evening and we shall study the side effects of the dilatation of flexible volumes.</B></div> <bR> <DIV ALIGN="LEFT"></DIV> <div> <B><IMG SRC="0b4a7520.jpg" border=0 width="423" height="338" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></B></div> <bR> <div> <TABLE BORDER="0" CELLPADDING="2" CELLSPACING="1" WIDTH="477" BORDERCOLORLIGHT="#C0C0C0" BORDERCOLORDARK="#808080" FRAME="BOX" RULES="ALL" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0" > <tR> <tD VALIGN=TOP BGCOLOR=#FFCC33 HEIGHT= 76 WIDTH="471"><div> <B>Fawn Eyed Student</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>You notice her shyness, her timidity.</B></div> <div> <B>That was before.</B></div> </tD> </tR> </TABLE></div> <bR> <div> <B>Yes, Blond Student, oh, how right of you to point out that you have an appointment with me this evening in my Office, well let us see, I am overbooked this week, next week too, I think I will have to make a tutorial effort, why don't both of you come to my Office this evening?</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Assistant, are the blue pills in the right lower drawer or the left upper right?</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Everywhere?</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>You are quite sure?</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>As we are all very comfortable as we are, I propose that we continue our studies as we are, but to avoid distractions I suggest firmly that the students with upper bulges do sit in the front rows.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>If you agree with me simply nod with your bulges!</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Enchanting, really enchanting.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Assistants are we ready to start the experimentations with the human artefacts that we have produced in our bionic nursery?</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Assistants do bring in as a start one female and one male human artefact.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>How you should recognize which one is which one?</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>I believe that one looks definitively smarter than the other, so just bring in a brilliant one and a stupid one.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Now students, I am going to ask you something very simple.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>You will have the two humans in front of you and I am going to ask one of you, yes, indeed, red haired wild delicious looking student, why should it not be you, one of you to insult very gravely the humans.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Horrible is it not.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Remember that these are humans, that they have no feelings and that they have no memory. For them it is the same as for you when you drop a tail. Just a momentary discomfort.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Assistants are the Humans ready? </B></div> <bR> <div> <B>No, they are already engaged in gymnastics?</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Please disentangle them. At least we are sure that we have one female and one male.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Now Red haired student, say something absolutely atrocious to the Humans</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Read?????</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Go!!!!!!!!!</B></div> <bR> <DIV ALIGN="LEFT"></DIV> <div> <B>75*33=3000</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Sorry Dear Students</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Assistants please call in the maintenance unit, I see that four of the computational Matrixes have collapsed confronted with this horror.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>And the Humans are now again entangled in gymnastics.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>So sorry, Dear Red haired Student.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>You see, these are humans, they are totally unaffected by horror, mistakes, miscalculation, logic errors, indeed sometimes I wonder whether they do not thrive on it. Dear Red Haired students, you must try and go to the lowest levels of wisdom and use the most vulgar words, such as you would do would you be talking to your mechanized human assistant.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Are we all set?</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Have the blow-out students been taken away to the Workshop?</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>So Red Haired student, use this microphone, no red haired student, this is not what you think, it will be later, for the time being use this microphone and make the male Human say something really disgusting.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Ready ?</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Go !!!!</B></div> <bR> <DIV ALIGN="LEFT"></DIV> <div> <B>You old sow, your sagging breast look like some withered Stilton cheese !</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Very good, Red Haired student!</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>No assistants, no need to prevent the female Human from gouging the eyes out of the male and dismembering him, this is quite a normal pattern in the humans and we have plenty of other embryos.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Now, of course dear students, you wonder what has happened.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Why would the female human feel deeply offended by the courteous remark by the sensitive mal human stating that the rotundity of her bulges had some stochastic variations with a general Great Attractor greatly influenced by Gravity?</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>A mystery, a total mystery.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>We shall now repeat the procedure but this time we shall reverse the procedure and measure the temperature variations.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Assistants kindly bring in another couple.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Assistants you are sure that this is a male and a female? To me one looks ever dumber than the other.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Well, if you say so, well assistants let us connect the electrodes of the thermometers.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Were you are to connect them? Do you expect the Glub Professor to know such disgusting things, can't you find any slit or opening somewhere, if not, do one with your knife, anyway they do not feel anything.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Now, totally Ugly student, in the name of parity and equality of chance, even if I fail to see what kind of chance you could have in life, take the microphone and let the female human say something utterly offensive to the male Human.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Assistants what are the present readings?</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>You say that they are around 30° but apparently rapidly increasing in some parts?</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Strange, there must be a draft in this laboratory</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Ugly student, do your job, if you can.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Ready?</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Go!</B></div> <bR> <DIV ALIGN="LEFT"></DIV> <div> <B>“Look Henry, don't go all lecherous now,</B></div> <div> <B> I have not got a magnifying glass to see what you have to offer”</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Good Ugly Student, where did you get that line from?</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>From a famous writer called Shakespeare, in his most well-known play “Deep Throat”.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>How good, who would have expected that from you Ugly Student. Incidentally would you have any clue as to what it means?</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>No, you do not, of course.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Stop pulling my arm assistants, of course you should take away the remains of the female Human, what do you expect us to do, a barbecue?</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>So what were the readings?</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Assistants, I must remind you that even if the Humans have no value, they waste a lot of our time and it is no excuse to come and say that the recording machine for the temperature of the man has exploded to overload.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>To summarize students, this was an example of what the humans call “hot temper”.</B></div> <bR> <DIV ALIGN="LEFT"></DIV> <div> <TABLE BORDER="0" CELLPADDING="1" CELLSPACING="1" WIDTH="502" BORDERCOLORLIGHT="#C0C0C0" BORDERCOLORDARK="#808080" FRAME="BOX" RULES="ALL" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0" > <tR> <tD VALIGN=TOP BGCOLOR=#FFFF99 HEIGHT= 1422 WIDTH="498"><bR> <div> <B>Advance Release from “The Blanket”</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Students, let me now, for the first time in the New Universe Chronology, tell you what I have never told anybody.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Yes, I told you that in the secret message from the humans we found the sacred frames of the rites of temperature, called Meteorology, but we also found an advertisement sequence which was the basis for our understanding of this lower culture.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>We could not really believe our luck when we were able to decipher the first frames of the secret real, and found the message:</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>“Some Like it Hot”!!!!!</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>This was to be the key which suddenly would unlock all the mysteries of this sub animalistic culture.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Advance Publication Notes</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Soon, I, the modest and humble Glub Professor, will publish in “The Blanket” an article which is going to make historians date the world as “The Dark Age before the Glub Professor's Article” and “The Dazzling World after the Glub Professor's Article”. Which of cause does not mean that all that has been published previously is total gibberish, not at all, for instance I have found that many of the articles published by colleagues from the StarBushthesecond University are quite useful against drafts in my woodland residence.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>I my history breaking article I quite clearly demonstrate that the icons from “Some like it hot” prove beyond any refutability:</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>The Humans are not born with a sex, such as Double Upper Bulged or Lower Central Bulge, but are able to choose whatever form they wish to be seen as according to circumstances. Two of the Divinities appearing in the sacred reel of “Some like it hot”, Jack Lemmon and Tony Curtis pendle between the single bulge form and the double bulge form without any difficulty. </B></div> <bR> <div> <B>This will put an end to the stupid controversy agitating my very much esteemed colleagues from under funded Universities (Hello Jack at Harvard, greetings to your wife or you husband depending on the form she/he has chosen to materialize as presently), meaningless controversy as to whether humans were in majority double bulged or single bulged. They were both and none.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Further I demonstrate with crystal clear lucidity that the red slit like organ on the upper part of the Human Bubble, was not some kind of orifice by which nutrients were passed (disgusting, really disgusting, how would Humans, however repugnant they are, have been able to live if at one time they were using the slit opening as a methane incubator inlet and next time as a copulation connexion accessory? No, from the sacred frames of the cult icons of “Some Like it Hot” it is now totally clear that the upper red slit opening was used to insert a communication instrument called either a saxophone or a cello, communication instrument used by the Humans to communicate their need to fornicate to one another.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>I further demonstrate that Humans were not piling one upon another in the aim of  maintaining adequate temperature levels, but, as clearly demonstrated by Geraldine/Jack Lemmon, that the piling of one human form on another one was deemed as a dangerous exercise that, if performed with success would be rewarded by a new life allocation, and as clearly demonstrated in the sacred icons of “Some Like it Hot, the more humans you could pile up or squeeze in the narrowest possible container, the higher would be the reward. The piling is more efficient if the ingredients are shaken, not stirred, in a device called “a train”.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Finally, as a codicil, but this is rather obvious, the double bulged Human form called “female” feed on diamonds, which is some kind of hard carbonate, while the disgusting single bulge Human form feeds on recycled paper called dollar, probably by digesting the billions of micro organisms attached to the dollars.</B></div> <bR> <bR> </tD> </tR> </TABLE></div> <bR> <bR> <bR> </td> </tr></table></body>