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<body topmargin=0 leftmargin=0 marginheight=0 marginwidth=0> <table cellpadding=0 cellspacing=0 border=0 height="100%"><tr> <td valign="top" width=200 BGCOLOR="#99FFFF" TEXT="#F7F7FF"> <bR> </td> <td valign="top" width="100%" BGCOLOR="#33CCFF" TEXT="#080000"> <div> <B>Welcome</B></div> <bR> <bR> <bR> <div> <A HREF="index.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="The Glubs and the Noodles">The Glubs and the Noodles</A></div> <bR> <div> <A HREF="carnivorous.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Carnivorous">Carnivorous</A>   |   <A HREF="if_only_.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="If Only !">If Only !</A>   |   <A HREF="dont_worry.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Dont Worry">Don't Worry</A>   |   <A HREF="trust_me_.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Trust Me !">Trust Me !</A>   |   <B>Welcome</B>   |   <A HREF="alfred_e_neuman.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Alfred E. Neuman">Alfred E. Neuman</A>   |   <A HREF="parlez_vous_français.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Parlezvous Français?">Parlez-vous Français?</A>   |   <A HREF="the_president.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="The President">The President</A>   |   <A HREF="love51.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Love">Love</A>   |   <A HREF="happy_end.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Happy End">Happy End</A>   |   <A HREF="darwins_noodles.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Darwins Noodles">Darwin's Noodles</A>   |   <A HREF="noodle_sex.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Noodle Sex">Noodle Sex</A>   |   <A HREF="archeology.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Archeology">Archeology</A></div> <bR> <bR> <DIV ALIGN="LEFT"></DIV> <div> <B>Welcome !</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Sarah was able to have a good long night of sleep, at lest this is what she understood from the Agency Agent knocking and shouting on her door and yelling something about</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>“All to be present in the Dome within zero zero three zero time “</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>While one could not draw any substantial information from that statement, it clearly indicated that the Chapter in the Instruction Manual about</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>“How much time does it take to wake up two sleeping girls”</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>had been grossly mismanaged.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Who was the idiot who assumed that tired mothers and children found to be awaken at six o' clock to one of the major enjoyment of life?</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>So half an hour later Sarah and hundred of mothers, all carrying sleeping children on their shoulders, were on their way to the Dome</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>The Editor requests respected readers who insist on writing emails asking how many shoulders a woman should have if she has more than two children to stop hammering on this subject as it is well know that a woman's body is totally malleable and will twist the most extraordinary laws of physics to adapt to circumstances, by the way, how do you think you were born?</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Sarah and hundreds of mothers came into the Dome, they were expecting to receive at least coffee and something to eat, and milk and cereals for the children, instead of which they were told to stand on the spots where circles had been drawn.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>An Officer took the stand and informed them that it was a great honour for him to inform them that the President Himself would address them at zero nine one fifteen and that they were to stand at their assigned spots until the President arrived.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>The woman with their heap of sleeping children at their feet looked at one another.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>From which asylum had that lunatic escaped?</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Il was now zero six three zero, oh no, she must watch herself and not start speaking that gibberish which they thought was normal language.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Was that youngster on the podium under the impression that Sarah and her daughters and the hundreds of mothers and children were going to stand motionless and upright on an area smaller than her kitchen table?</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Such absurd thinking had to be stopped immediately, if Sarah let it go, soon that youngster on the podium would inform them that breakfast would be served after the Presidents address. </B></div> <bR> <div> <B>As story teller, I do not have the advantage of knowing you readers personally, but for the sake of a better understanding of our respective positions I will assume that you readers are vaguely familiar with children and the task of bringing up children. In my lectures I always stress the importance, when dealing with children, of standing firm on your decision, laying out the law clearly and most of all preparing a fall back position when you discover that your decision is going to be challenged.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>It will!!</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>I would take a three to one bet that this young man</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>did not have any experience of children and that dreaded species called mothers</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>had totally forgotten to prepare a fall back position.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Sarah did what she had been taught by her children, she let her abdomen down, lifted her shoulder, tilted her head slightly back so as to get a better opening of her airways, Then she started building up that sound for which Sutherlands had gained world acclaim for her interpretation of Norma at the Sydney Opera House, and having done that she let out the beginning of a scream, building it up little by little as she has learned from her children, you really could feel that the volume was still to be increased, that if you could not stand the decibels now, what about in five minutes times?</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>And what Sarah did spontaneously</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>As Story teller, please not that it is totally wrong to state that teaching children is an hopeless task, here Sarah was at least nearing a 83% performance of what Emma could do.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>To go back to the inhumane story it is my task to tell, the other Mothers immediately saw the point in Sarah's behaviour and started building up their own wails;</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>As story teller, I must say that their has been a lot of discussions amongst historians who studied the tapes, but for me it is a no contest win, not only was Sarah the one to start the wail, she was also the one to get the best pitch and the best volume. It is true that Lady Peter (From the Peter of Pilsbury, not the Peter from Aspert) that Lady Peter later claimed that she did admit that Sarah put up quite a fair performance, but one could sense that it was built on street wisdom and did not match in quality and taste the wails she emitted.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>As story teller, I have been told that there is something you cannot forget in your life, it is the sound of the Spaceship taking of from Cape Canaveral. Regretfully, as from this day, this sound was to evoked as some kind of nice and tamed murmur compared to the cumulative wails of hundreds of mothers.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>The children hearing that wailing opened one eye and Duncan, that boy who could speak though his ears, even opened two eyes, they noted that everything was as normal and they went back to sleep.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>From where did the coffee pots and the pastries and the milk and chocolate come and fro where did all these plastic tables and chairs come, the mothers did not really care, now they were feeding themselves and their offspring and commending one another for the quality of their wailings;</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Faintly, from far away they heard the sirens of the Para Medics that were treating the young man who had so nicely opened the meeting.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Contented they were sitting down, a cup of coffee in their hands</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>As story teller, I mush here set a stop to the villainous rumour that spread later that four of the mothers gathers in a corner and smoked cigarettes!!!! That is totally untrue.  While it is true that they were holding between their lips sticks of natural biological incense whose slow burning accompanied their proceeding on the little path of early meditation.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>The children had done what children do on such occasions, they had mutinied as soon as they discovered that hundreds of other children were available who shared their own taste for playing American rugby with their mothers handbag, that hundred of girls were available with the most creative use of the make up tools they borrowed momentarily from mothers freely available bags.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Peace had come back!</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>The President entered, and here we should have a word, even a sentence of praise for our educational system, even in their nirvana of peace and tranquillity all the mothers rose on their feet.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>The President went to the speaking chair, shifted the microphone, informed them in confidence that “one, two, three, do you hear me Charlie” to which all the mothers shouted back “Oh Yes Charlie, I am here”. Then the President looked at them and went out and they all sat back again; By that time the coffee was not quite warm enough, but, if it is to be rough, let it be rough.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Then the President came back, had they had elections in between?, that was definitively a different President;</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>He went to the microphone, looked up and right, </B></div> <bR> <div> <B><< Charlie, give me some more from the left>></B></div> <bR> <div> <B>As story teller, I do not find it to be within my duties to report what the mothers said.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Then the President went out, and they all sat back again; Nothing wrong with a bit of morning gymnastic, every time they were weighing themselves they promised themselves that they would start that gymnastic course, and here they were getting it for free.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>That chap, who could he be now, had he come to check the wring of the microphone or the water jug, well they all sat and waited for him to  say something so that they could start the cat wailing business again.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>They could not find anything to whistle at when a voice boomed</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Ladies, The President!</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>They all stood up</B></div> <bR> <bR> </td> </tr></table></body>